I’ve realized lately that what I love most about being a doula is being able to witness the strength of a woman. I’m not talking about physical strength necessarily (although clearly some of that helps in labour too), I’m talking about the “no bull” strength that I see when a woman allows her body to labour naturally and normally. There’s really nothing like it.
This strength is within us all. Some of us can call upon it whenever we need, and some of us struggle with finding that inner diva….but she’s in there…I promise. Society has clearly impacted the way women see themselves. If more women could only see this seldom-witnessed strength I get to see regularly. Media, magazines, and Hollywood have impacted what we think we should look like, how we should dress, how we should speak, what we should believe about ourselves. Every woman I know seems to constantly obsess about all of these issues. Everyone jokes about the plastic surgery they’re going to get. It’s truly only a joke because they can’t afford it. If they could, it would quickly become their reality. It saddens me. Not really because of the plastic surgery idea, because of what it stands for. When I hear it, what I hear is a statement of “I’m not good enough”. For my doula clients, they often feel they’re not strong enough to labour without medication, that their breasts won’t operate well enough to produce enough milk to breastfeed their baby. Then of course their baby isn’t sleeping well enough, pooping well enough, rolling over soon enough, and on, and on…
This sense of ‘not enough’ is way too pervasive. I like the old saying “trying is having the intention to fail”. Don’t we all say that way too much? I hear it all the time: “I’ll try to go without medication”, “I’ll try to breastfeed”. I know for sure, almost all women can accomplish those two tasks, but they go into it feeling like they won’t be able to. Why? Because dozens of women around them have told them about their failures. Women doubting themselves and not accomplishing their goals leads to other women hearing their stories and taking on that failure before it’s their own. Society has failed them.
But, for the women who do decide they will accomplish their goals (despite the lack of support around them), there is an energy in their eyes that goes deep to their soul. Right after birth, the woman exclaiming “I did it!” is like nothing you can ever imagine. It brings me to tears every time. It is a rare glimpse into that power that women intuitively know is within them, that they have tapped into for a brief instant with all the confidence in their soul. It’s the warrior mamma.
The warrior mamma will transition into motherhood feeling empowered and strong. Feeling ready to take-on the world…and yes…even breastfeeding.
The Options Expert
